Rolled and Broasted

Once again we made the trek to Grandy, Minnesota, this afternoon with one goal: deliciousness. And oh, what a good decision it was. Every artery-gunging trip to the Brass Rail for a multi-course meal of the fattiest cottage cheese this side of 1400 Independence Avenue, the best breaded mushrooms known to man, and the tastiest chicken ever. I dunno, man, this place is just so good that even though it takes about an hour to get there from our house, we find it necessary to make the trip as often as we possibly can, though we are often coaxed into it by a few friends. ;)

And to continue the food theme of this post, I went to the store this evening to get some breffist cereal and, in what is a first for me, some oatmeal. Of course I've had oatmeal before, but I realized after talking to a guy at work last week that I have never actually gone out and purchased a can of Quaker Oats since, well, since ever. My mom always bought 'em when I was a kid, and I guess it never really crossed my mind once I left the ol' nest. So there I was in the cereal aisle with a cylinder of rolled oats when I noticed the exact same thing a few feet over. It was like a weird name brand vs. off brand grudge match of oatmealish proportions, except that both were the same thing made by the same company. The difference between the two available selections of Quaker Oats? One was the "1-Minute" kind, and its counterpart was the "Old-Fashioned" kind. I literally sat on the off-white grocery store floor tile for a good four minutes, both canisters in hand, trying to discern some difference between the two. Both had the exact same nutrition information, serving sizes, self-congratulatory fine print about reducing heartworms (or whatever it is these oats do nowadays)...even the same ingredients for Pete's sake ("100% Rolled Oats"). But one had a 1-2 minute cooking time, and the other had a 2-3 minute cooking time.

Oh, the dilemmas we face. I really wanted to call up my brother Andy, whom I always turn to when I can't figure out something, but I just spoke with him a little while before about a computer question. I figured the store clerks wouldn't know anything (I was one for nine years, and I could barely tell the difference between an eggplant and a leek). My wife was at home exercising. My parents...hm...I guess I could have called them. But in the end I hiked up me breetches and confidently selected the "Old-Fashioned" variety.

Pleased as punch, I made a beeline for the bakery aisle to nab some brown sugar and get the heck out of that store. I snagged the first bag of off-brand brown sugar I could find and was about to rush to the register when I noticed, sitting placidly next to the brown sugar...several bags of dark brown sugar. Nutrition information? Same. Fine print? Same. Ingredients? "Sugar, Molasses."

:)