Pork Paroxysm

Last weekend I had the pleasure of hosting my brother's bachelor party, and even though the phrase bachelor party probably conjures images of somewhat questionable conduct on the part of all involved, that sort of thing was not at all what this one involved. Mostly it consisted of a dozen or so guys watching the Huskers beat the snot out of Western Kentucky while eating far too much chips, salsa, bratwurst, popcorn, and the like.  Afterwards we played a few rounds of Rock Band and called it a night.  And while a good time was most certainly had by all, the highlight (or lowlight, depending on how you look at it) of the evening was our attempt to create and cook a Bacon Explosion.  Part meat, part spice, and part artwork, the Bacon Explosion was to be our Sistine Chapel--the piece de resistance on an altogether excellent night.  And while the final result was somewhat open for debate, at least we got a cool story out of the whole deal.

Things got going with the initial preparation of the Bacon Explosion itself, the foundation of which is a layer of woven bacon.  I actually wasn't present for the weaving of said bacon, but I must say, my brother Andy did a fine job if I do say so myself.  And I just did, so there.

After that came more layers of bacon, seasonings, sausage, cheese, and more that combined to form a gigantic roll of meaty meat-ness.  Like I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't exactly classify this whole thing as delicious, but it sure was an experience to put together.

After finishing all the preparations, we headed out to the grill to slow-cook the meaty monstrosity for a couple of hours.  Technically it should be prepared in a smoker, but absent that instrument of culinary confectionery, we resorted to the old standby of a propane grill.  And while I wouldn't say that idea didn't work, I would be hard-pressed to say it actually did work.  What we ended up with was part carbon, part meat, and part gooey cheesey meat-like substance in a malformed log shape.

Ready for grilling.  Mmm...delicious?

Several of the guys tried eating this, and a few actually succeeded in downing their portion.  Me, I was content to nibble on a scrap of bacon and call it good, as was my friend Evan.  It was a fun thing to try, but I think next time I'll stick to the plain ol' burgers and bratwurst that are more typical cookout staples.  At the end of the day, though, we all had a great time--especially my brother, which is really all that matters anyway.

My brother, the lucky bachelor, with his bacon trophy.